There once was a man named Louie who lived in Cobble Hill and worked at the ticket booth of the New York Transit Museum. He seemed like an ordinary Joe Six-Pack, but he was actually one of the most neurotic people out there. Louie always worried about people talking about him behind his back, and this would unfortunately lead to very embarrassing situations causing people to talk about him behind his back. For example, he would often sneak up on people quietly whispering to each other at the museum and try to spy on their conversations. Louie was obviously not trained in stealth operations and would always be discovered, at which point he would panic and scream obscenities at the museum’s patrons before running away and hiding under the desk of his ticket booth.
This sort of behaviour could have gotten him fired many times over, but it was so ridiculous that people found it funny, and Louie became a sort of sideshow attraction at the museum, which was quite boring otherwise. The higher-ups quickly realised he was driving ticket sales up and so turned a blind eye to his nuttiness.
Surprisingly, Louie was able to land a date with one of the museum’s supporters. Ana was a hipster from Williamsburg who didn’t have anything interesting going on in her life, and figured Louie would be perfect to fill that void. She went to the museum with a friend, and after Louie made his crazy little song and dance, she went up to the booth, sat with him under his desk, held his hand, and told him that she understood him and that he should buy her dinner.
Louie got very excited about the date because it had been quite a while since he was involved in any form of reciprocating social situation, let alone with a person of the opposite sex. But, being the nervous wreck that he was, Louie started panicking and thinking that she wouldn’t show up, and that even if she did he would have nothing interesting to tell her and that she would hate him. He needed to deal with this fast, so he called the only person who could help him, Barflak the wizard. Barflak lived in Louie’s building and although most people thought he was a nut, he was actually trained in magic and general wizardry. Louie explained his situation and Barflak came up with what seemed to him like an obvious solution: a soul-sucking mirror.
The idea was very simple, really. Barflak would set a spell on a mirror, which would cause whoever looks into it to have their soul sucked in. All Louie had to do was to get Ana to look at the mirror before she walked out on him, and he could have her soul forever. The plan was flawless.
Louie ran back to his apartment, picked up his bathroom mirror and ran back up to Barflak’s, who had already put his magic hat on. Barflak held the mirror up high, yelled some gibberish at it, then put it in the microwave on HIGH for a minute. Sparks started flying all around the frame of the mirror, and before anything exploded, the procedure was complete and the cursed mirror was ready.
Louie was very excited at that point, and ran back home with his newly cursed mirror. As he stepped into his room, Louie got a little too curious and looked right at it to see if anything was different. Unfortunately, the spell had worked and his soul got sucked right in. His body got limp and dropped to the floor, and that was the end of that.
Louie’s body was eventually found, and since he had no family or friends, the landlord just gave all his stuff to charity. The cursed mirror, which still holds Louie’s soul, has been traveling from antique stores to garage sales to flea markets until it finally made its way to ITP, where it is currently on display. You can go have a look if you wish, just make sure you don’t look directly at it or it will suck your soul in!
Also, for the record, Ana never showed up for the date. One of her friends suggested they go watch a bad movie together and make stupid comments out loud, and she thought it would be more fun than a date with the Transit Museum freak.
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